Secrets

[shiina]

|TITLE| Secrets
|RATING| G
|THEME| Trust
|NOTES| This poem is like the story of my life... Katrina, I hope you understand what I'm trying to tell you with this poem.


Close my eyes and see the light,
Open them to darkness.
All alone I've lost my sight,
And forgotten all the rest.
Who can see?
Could it be,
Maybe all is lost?

Or perhaps a chapter starts,
New and shining bright.
Rather than the broken hearts,
Maybe it's all right.
Is it true,
Held with glue,
I can make it out?

Hold on tight and keep my cool,
Stay a faithful friend.
All the lies collect and pool,
Until the very end.
I can't say,
Can't give away,
What I can't confess.

The time is wrong for me to tell,
The secrets I have kept.
You want to know, you scream and yell,
You have even wept.
But do you know,
If it will show,
When I am forgiven?

I will tell you when I'm able,
Why I could not say.
And though it just may sound like fable,
I'll tell the truth one day.
Will you trust?
If not you must,
Believe me anyway.

[xunpredictablel]

Oh my, VERY good, Shiina. Very very good. The rhymes were good - amazing. I could never pull off one of those rhythms without using ridiculous rhymes like bad and sad. I know how hard that poem must have been. It was also very heartfelt. Very nicely done. I loved it.

I'm sorry I can't write much. I'm exhausted. I've been moving around a room all day. It was very very good though, if I have more to add, I'll try to add it tomorrow.

[shiina]

Teehee, thankies. I'm glad you like it, though I'm sure that any idea you have of what it's about is wrong... I mean, the trust issues are pretty appearent, but there's a deeper message to it that has to be kept secret, and only Trina would get it, well her and some of the other perople involved in the whole mess.

[noir]

This is a beautiful poem. The rhyme scheme, the words, it really is a superb piece. I think the rhym and structure highlights the two sides of every story told, and then the last rhyme is also the truth. I hope that makes some kind of sense.

Like you said before, we can't gleam the 'true' meaning of the poem, because it's written about something personal to you, but I think it fits alot of every readers real life situations, and that is what allows such easy connection. We've all been told or told lies, caught in the middle of fights we can't necessarily just 'win'. So great piece Shiina. I love your work.