The World

[shiina]

|TITLE| The World
|RATING| PG
|THEME| Religious
|NOTES| I have no clue why I wrote this poem, considering I'm normally a very happy person and this one starts out a bit depressing. Oh well, Enjoy!

I can feel it moving,
Snakes beneath my feet.
A tremor so uprooting,
Tears apart Earths sheet.

I'm falling down.
my life is Falling down.

Let the tide come in,
wash away these things.
Wash away the sin,
Greed for diamond rings.

It's being found.
Their faith is being found.

Let the wishes come true,
Let the last arrive.
From out of the blue,
we hear the cries.

So turn around.
Just listen to the sound.

[xunpredictablel]

Oh my goodness, this poem is simply amazing. It's very chaotic in the beginning, not the wording but the ideas - tearing apart earth's sheets. Then it settles into a feeling of melancholy. It's a very impressive switch, and the tone of the poem is fantastic. My feelings rose to a nervous pacing for the first verse to a shallow dip into this black in the second. Then I felt as though I was sailing in blue - just watching things pass and letting everything pass over my skin. I certainly know how you feel in this instance. It's fantastic to just let something roll across your skin(such as water) and act as though it is taking all the impurities and problems with it, leaving you incredibly clean.

The part about the faith took my breath away because faith is one of the hardest things to obtain in this life, and finding faith is one of the most fulfilling experiences of one's being. The verse was short- but one of ecstasy - of utter happiness in the fact that someone is finding faith in something you also hold dear. This can be a very uplifting experience in that it is just fantastic to see someone's life turn around so drastically because of something.

Finally, the verse that spoke out to me the most was the last one. It was a type of incredible oneness with yourself to be able to write that , I'm sure. It's a pattern that I've found in a couple of your poems. You do seem VERY one with yourself. To be able to just listen, or just ponder about something is an incredible trait, one that I will likely never have. The patience it takes to just breathe and be is something I could never understand, but something I admire greatly.

This was a fantastic read. It definitely took my breath away.

[shiina]

Your insight alarms me You've got quite a talent for dissecting poems, and I'm very happy that you like my work. And what you said about being one with myself, it's really not something to be understood, but it is a good feeling, to keep a level head when something comes up. I started writing poetry a few years back during a horrible depressedness (So you know, I like to use retarded words like this alot. get used to it ^.^) and that's how my poems started out. Once I got passed that phase and all those problems, I kind of slowly develpoed to what my friends describe as "Morgan the happy re-re" So yeah. I tend to be an upbeat person, but my poetry feels like the only time I actually am ME. Not just my happy front or my depressed past. what was I babbling about again? heehee, yeah. Thank you again.

[xunpredictablel]

Honestly, sometimes the best poems come out of the worst depressions. Those feelings need to find a place to go and sometimes a word is the best solace. They can also come out in the happiest of happy times , which is a lot harder to do , in my opinion. I know how you feel in that your poetry is a place to find yourself after a long day of hiding from so many people , oh do I know that feeling well. It's a great way to help yourself hide, too, because sometimes hiding can be the best thing in a social situation. I think that your poems were likely very developed during your depressed phase, because most people who are inclined towards writing write more when they feel the strong emotions, lust, love, happiness, depression. I know that that is certainly the case for me. My best poems shine through my depression and kind of mute my happiness.

Oh , wow . I can get off topic so often . I'm so tired , I apologize . Anyway, you are fantastic. Haha, really.

[shiina]

*giggles* I didn't even notice you had gotten off topic until you said something. Don't feel bad, I'm tired too. And my back is KILLING me. *kees over and dies* I feel like I got shot in the spine.