Your Guardian Angel.

[xunpredictablel]

|Title| Your Guardian Angel.
|Rating| R
|Notes| I trembled as I wrote this, the whole way through. I was shaking. It's really... Graphic. Read at your own risk..

Your ARMS thread down blood- Your HIPS like waterfalls.
I'm seeing you from far away.

My arms fall down against your head,
please, pretty girl. STOP.
My hands cover my eyes.
Your arms leak your hatred.
Your hips leak your lust.

I reach to touch you, but your skin numbs my fingertips. I clasp your hand and collapse.
The depth of your pain surrounds me and I cry out in pain as you touch him.

I sleep, tucked in with you at night.
I whisper your screaming soul to sleep.
Put your hair behind your ears to see a peaceful face.
For once.

Finally, you leak yourself as usual, but I see my arms dripping instead. You slice your lips and my skin separates. My eyes find yours and have I known this all along?

I thought I was invincible- a ghost that hides in the air.
Your mouth trembled as I fell.
--------Very alive.
----------------bloody.

My fingernails scraped down your tender skin, begging the pain to cease.
Your tears mingle with the blood- the salt stinging my wrists.

You whisper terrified apologies, falling against my bleeding breast.
Your tender eyes touch my heart, as you place your hand over yours.

As your palm grazes your skin (ribs) ; I die.


Your Guardian Angel.
Can you find me alone, this time?

[Panda]

This was the first poem of yours that I read, and after reading all the others (in one night I might add, I am so proud) I must say, this one stands out. Please forgive the terrible commentary that will follow, ill get better eventualy -.-

First I would like to point out that I like how this poem had the concreate aspect to it, ie the '-----' used to position those 2 shorter lines, and add emphasis, and the italics ect. It adds a whole new sort of layer ontop of the poem, and is used very well.

In the first seven lines there is hatred, but in more of the sence of just not being comforatable with the situation that you are in. There is sadness in it, and you feel like you can do nothing to help it, which illustrates the line "I am seeing you from far away" but throughout the poem, it is like that is more litteral than figurative. Like when you wrote this, you saw yourself and him in a thrid person view. the sixth and seventh lines show your disgust for what happens, and is also a theme for some of your other poems such as 'Lust"

Lines 8-10 Shows again, a sence of how powerless you feel, and there is a part that I would assume is a third person view of yourself, but I can't be sure

lines 11 and 12, this is, i am guessing, the end of your 'encounter' and now the emotions are high for both sides. there is some meaning hiden there, and you have hidden it well.

the rest of the poem talks about the aftermath if you will, your pain, and sheer resentment of these things. I really think these lines are the meat of the poem, and where the most feeling is, but its so personal, a rookie such as myself could only gather so much.

I like the last two lines. the meaning to it is unclear to me, but I could mean that you want your guardian angel to see you in better times, as if you are to ashamed for help, to he is your guardian angel, and you dont want to be alone with out him, and you worry thats what might happen. And everything inbetween! but thats what is so great about poetry, its wide open.

Meh, it wasnt THAT far off was it >.>