FRUSTRATION.

[xunpredictablel]

|TITLE| Frustration.
|RATING| Pg
|THEME| Stupid boy , horrid boy . FDSAJLGNSFALGFSD.
|NOTES| I'm horribly upset, so I apologize for frantic language or off ideas. I don't even know if any of it makes sense. I'm really sorry if it sucks, just let me know, yeah ?



there are things against your breast that no others dare to say -
things that take flight and hide for your sake and during the day -
you're hidden too well, you nymphet you . fear not the ringing bell , because it's meant nothing to you.

stand tall - the pretty bushes fall and fight a war that no other could win - the thorns withering away.
come close, you all who scream warcries into the night , your hands are welcomed here, all proven force at light .

the thoughts on your breast are solidified , worry not because they act as a shield against the coming fight -
is this worth your proving rights ? is it worth your losing life ?

you're a warrior at day, eyes vulnerable as nothing else is . and night creeps in with shallow toys to make you die again.
where are you you silly boys when i'm falling down ? you act so strong so here i am, stop tearing down my gown.
falsified, all words you spoke are rotted against my ears . where you took me to the brook was murdered with the years.

the ground stained red and tainted with eyes too much to see, your hands are barely shaking as you're baring down on me. my hands are screaming as your face is crying these tears that will mean naught , and everything i see you as is everything you're not .

everything i know you as is everything you aren't . everything i want you to be is everything you could never be.

but the shield shoot up again , the eyes drifting behind a veil of blackened secrets and do you worry about the things i want to say or is it better i left them written ?
leaves can speak better than humans can , so listen to this weary land and learn the lessons you have yet to be taught .
you're so not right against the soil down there, you're bringing me down with you and learning to wear down on my soul and that's not fair !

i'm sick of falling for the one you are , or the one i think you can be.
your eyes aren't there, the failing stare of who you want me to be ?
it's like you see this potential in me and you're shaping me to be the person i can be . but stop this now ! stop reminding me of blinding days with horrid light shining down on my eyes.

i can't handle this , not even my solid breast can stand against this weight you crash against my chest - you're like my FATHER , in a best friend .
a father i could never please , though i always tried. you're lurking there with that ugly stare that 's so reminiscent to his lies.

his love was there as yours is too, but not showing is something i can't .
a mirage against the perfect light , with water all in tact , you're horrible with tact.
what's with your stupid words that hurt me to the core .
every word i speak is a word forlorn against my screaming head, i'm so furious with you !

bring back to me my singing bird with beautiful wings and tortured eyes. I want my life back , stop acting on your lies. I'm sick of the way you treat me . i'm sick of the way you act like everything's okay .

I wish i could say that this is worth it.
i wish i could tell you it's worth it.
but being reminded of my dad is never worth it.
and i want not much but to say goodbye ,
because my heart's giving up this time.

[Alicia's Ghost]

This was hard to read -- and not because of grammar or cohesiveness. It was simply hard on the soul to read this. It's very raw, and vulnerable, though the tone is supposed to be frustration. In this poem I read that there was less frustration at him, and more at yourself, as if you were really angry at yourself for falling for what you knew was a lie. That I know what's going to happen, why do I continue to do this to myself? type of questioning that reiterates itself over and over. To me, that thought kept going around in my head, as I read through the poem, and the hurt. there was a lot of hurt in here.

It's not one of the sharpest pains in the world, but I feel like this is an old one that comes back -- which is reflected again when I read, " you're like my FATHER , in a best friend ." The tone suddenly made awful clarity and spiralled downward. It's hard to deal with an old enemy in new sheep's clothing. Worse, when you fall for it, knowingly, hoping as if by merely hoping and wishing, and seeing things that aren't there, it would be enough. That type of strenuous desperation to change what's obviously in front of you is something I'm very familiar with. I'm very sorry.

As for coherent, it is a very personal poem, though very blatant, so what could have been confusing was quite clear if the reader knew where to look. On the whole, it's very good, but then most of your poems are very good. This is a different side of you that your poems haven't yet expressed.

Though it's terrible to say, it was an interesting read.

[shiina]

I agree with Alicia. There was alot in there that, even to those who can't understand very well (Like me), simply bears down on the soul, almost like a universal language. Everyone speaks heartbreak. And everyone speaks pain, though some better than others. I like reading things like this poem, though I know it was at the pain of someone else. I'm very sorry, and I hope you feel better soon. Like I've said before, if you trust me enough and you want to talk, I'm always here for a friend, if I'm allowed to consider you a friend, it's up to you. (I'm still going to consider you family though; so long as we're both members of this site)

[xunpredictablel]

Oh, yes. I consider everyone here a friend , and family .

Thank you both . You guys are inspiring .