Forbidden -

[xunpredictablel]

|TITLE| Untitled.
|RATING| PG13-R
|THEME| Anticipation
|NOTES| Honestly, this was written about a teacher who I was very very attracted to. It always seemed like he was a bit attracted to me, too, so I had to write about it a lot in order to not act upon my thoughts. Proceed with caution, there are hints of some mature things.

My skin trembles at the thought- forbidden love forgotten but now we'll be seen again?
I wonder if you miss me- with my eyes full of passion for your words- for learning the things you could teach.
I loved your lessons and I wonder if you loved my dedication-
Are you curious about me?
With my dancing eyes- alive when I see you , even though you're older and I am just a child.

you're making me nervous- even though you're across the way.
the anticipation to see you is killing me - even though this is something I left for dead in the summer nights-
passion for the likes of you is unethical - unreasonable-
so I tried to tell myself -
I wonder what you'd think , what you'd do if we were older, if I was older -
marriages are breakable- are you? you're making my stomach rage -
maybe I'll see you and there will be nothing -
but maybe you'll see my legs my dress my bags-
the sleepless nights I'm losing to sickness.

I wonder if you've thought of me - because we talk about you a bit -
how you and I talked ; apparently suspicious . ..

apparently anticipation is incredible - -

[Alicia's Ghost]

This touched me; I've never had an attraction to someone so much older than me, or to any of the younger professors I've come across, but that gut-anticipation is something that has always occurred to me when I find I fancy someone. I guess in some ways, every type of love is forbidden me (to my mind's machination, at the very least) so reading this really punched me in the gut though it was much softer than other poems you've submitted.

The doubt, the worry, the utter uncertain hope (I could imagine a trembling hand, a sideways peek through lashes) really touched me. I felt placed, quite suddenly, in that position. Though I read the Notes, I wasn't prepared for what you were going to do xD so it took me by surprise.

I love your style, as always.

+ Karma!

[xunpredictablel]

Oh, thank you. That whole professor deal was really such a struggle for me. He had a wife and he was only 25, and brilliant - oh so brilliant. And he was enraged at how little his math class did and enlightened in how ragingly happy I was to learn everything he could teach me. I swallowed his words whole, showing off by doing everything correctly- and when he'd come to my desk for the questions I had ( and oh, I had quite a few ) I couldn't stop shaking. He got so close, and I was so terrified that everyone could see how I was - uncertain and utterly, hopelessly attracted to him.

I love this poem because it reminds me much about last year. But the anticipation was not worth it, because we simply said hello, I handed him the recommendation I wanted him to sign, and then I left. It was very dreadful after having such an incredible feeling in my chest for oh so long.