A Single Drop of Rain

[shiina]

|TITLE| A Single Drop of Rain
|RATING| PG
|THEME| Pain
|NOTES| This is an odd poem, and I don't remember what made me decide to write it. Or at least I think it's odd. I hope you all like it. (And I hope I haven't already posted it before, 'cause I can't remember if I have and my computer's running so bad lately I'm scared to check for fear that it'll kick me off the internet... again.)


A single drop of rain, a diamond on my arm.
A tear rolls down my cheek, for crying does no harm.
A heart is told to break, and listens with intent.
A need to understand, the message being sent.
A mind that's set to pain, wakes up to the sun.
A final realizatin, that I at last have won.
A game of make believe, to numb my aching mind.
A source of true relief, that I can't seem to find.
A fear of things to come, things not on their way.
A painful paranoia, that haunts me to this day.

A single drop of rain, falling to this Earth.
A feeling hits me hard, and I don't know what it's worth.
A love that's full of hate, it's hardly love at all.
A knowledge that you've stayed, here to catch me if I fall.
A power deep within, that keeps me here today.
A force that pulls me in, for I know that I must stay.
A day is only here, until it's time to go.
A secret that's kept safe, is one we'll never know.
A downpour comes this way, to drown us and our pain.
A lonely speck of water, A single drop of rain.

[xunpredictablel]

Oh wow, shiina. It's hard to spark goosebumps in me from another poem, but you've done that perfectly here. I'm very impressed. The rhymes you used were just so fluid and it made me feel like you've done this for a long time. I'm really impressed by this piece. I love it. WOW.

Anyway. Think about some technical changes, like consider cannot instead of can't (A source of true relief, that I can't seem to find.) and... other than a couple more things like that (that you should CONSIDER. I didn't say change it, if you want to leave it, definitely do!) it's a truly fantastic poem. You should send some of your stuff to a contest or something.

[shiina]

Thank you, and actually, I am entering a poetry contest. I can't decide what poem to enter. Any suggestions?

[Alicia's Ghost]

Ah! I'm glad I decided to read it. The repetition of the A_ when I glanced over it at first, almost had me clicking away, but I read it anyway and I'm so glad I did. The rhyming, the content... it was just amazing o.o seriously.

My favorite line though is definitely: "A love that's full of hate, it's hardly love at all."

[shiina]

Thanks I'm glad you didn't click away, and I'm definitely glad you like it.