When You Awaken

[Sàmmius McGennien]

|TITLE| When You Awaken.
|RATING| G.
|THEME| Nonspecific.
|STYLE| Nonspecific.
|NOTES| I created this August of last year, according to my FictionPress account.

I'll be there when you awaken,
Standing over your vessel, so peaceful,
Warding the demons, the spirits unkind,
Kindling a friendly flame, daring those unwelcome.

Will you be here when you awaken?
I'll watch over your vessel,
Holding back the demons, the spirits unkind,
And caring for you, the flames so friendly.

Just wait for the time to rise,
The clock to chime the hours of safety,
The bells telling us our hours are safe,
The sacred hum telling us the hours will be safe.

Sleep well tonight,
Let the gods watch over you.
Sleep well tonight,
Let the good dreams wash you over.

Sleep well tonight,
Your vessel in hands of good.
Sleep well tonight,
The bells will awaken you.

Wait for the calmness to spread,
And let the happiness wash you over.
Your vessel so serene, your spirit so innocent,
And let me watch over your vessel tonight.

Let the serenity envelope you,
Let the spirits guide you through.
Wait for the chimes that the hour is safe,
And I will be here when you awaken.

[xunpredictablel]

I really liked this one, Sam, because it was REALLY well-developed. It was rather straight-forward in that you wanted to protect this misses from the "spirits unkind" (PS. good way to use the inverted syntax!) and it really gave me a calmed, serene feeling, which you were shooting for and achieved. All in all, a wonderful poem. A good thought- provoker too. Like, why do you need to protect her from said spirits? Is she unable of protecting herself? Do they plague her in her sleep if you are not there? Or is she incapable of doing this in real life?

But, the wonderful things about poetry is their... nebulous nature. One who describes exactly what they are trying to get across might as well be an author - not a poet, because everyone needs to get their own story out of a poem, their own relations.

GOOD JOB. I really liked it.